PJs out!

One of the weirdest things about Americans, for me, is that they will wear pajamas out. Outside. Proudly. Not, ‘oh please, don’t look at me, I’m just quickly running out to grab milk.’ Rather, ‘Oh? Yeah, that’s pajama, been wearing it all day. Touch it, so comfy!’

Coming from Russia, it’s so weird. If I spend the whole day wearing my PJ, I mark it on my calendar. It’s a special day. So far, there have been just 2. And OMG – it’s true, ‘so comfy’! Wrong but comfy! I took a Zoom call in my pajamas, I took the trash out in my pajamas, I even ate grapes in my pajamas. And let me tell you, I felt like a member of the royal family. Not a dig at Prince William’s vacant schedule, but rather an understanding nod.

Back in Russia, wearing pajamas all day is basically a sin. How dare you be seen in public wearing something comfortable? No, no, no! Even if you are taking the trash out, you need to… represent. Full makeup, a blow-dry, put on some knock-off Louis Vuitton stilettos, then grab a trash bag.

Russian women, they dress to impress. Always. Even to take out the garbage. Because, as my mom says, ‘You never know, maybe on the way to the dumpster you find a boyfriend.’ And not just any boyfriend. We’re talking about a dude who’s got so much oil money, he probably sweats gasoline.

I mean, these things happen, yeah?! There you are, garbage bag in one hand, Hermes bag from Thailand in the other, this BMW slows down, and boom – LOVE. AT FIRST. SIGHT. He is an oil billionaire. And you are now his OFFICIAL side chick.

Plus, he is 75! Score! He’s got one foot in the grave and another on a pile of money! If you play your cards right, when he kicks the bucket, you get to keep that fancy apartment he bought you as a love nest. #CoupleGoals, right?

But instead, here I am, the queen of my apartment, wearing pajamas all day, thinking, ‘Forget all that! Who needs a billionaire when you’ve got the freedom to dress like you don’t give a damn?’