Jokes. Be Warned.
A taster packet of morsels that don’t melt in your hand
- I have two half sisters. And a chain saw.
- Casper the Friendly ghost is the scariest. The worst thing is not the paranormal – it’s the small talk. “Ah! Ghost!… How was my weekend?!!!! HEEEEEELP!!!!”
- Recent study reveals: walking backwards can boos your short-term memory. Or you can writing things down.
- Existentialist cows be like, “caMuuus!”
- Single people have bathrooms. Family people have restrooms. That’s where they rest from their family. The main feature is not the toilet. It’s the lock. Not for privacy. To prevent an escape.
A restroom is like a car for people without a car. You lock the door, you stare into space, you pretend the plunger is a gear shift. Buckle up with the toilet paper roll. Vroom. Where you heading? IDK…Away from responsibilities - Why did emo cross the road? He forgot it’s down the road, not across.
- I always have something up my sleeve *coughs in her sleeve*: Tuberculosis.
- American astronomers discover a pitch black planet orbiting a distant star. American government is promptly sending a mission – to see the dark stuff is oil.
- Powdered sugar is not a topping – it’s evidence. It’s the pastry equivalent of a victim scrawling the name of their killer in sugar dust: “She ate me. Look at her chin.”
- When you think about it… astronomers. always. work. from home. Commute is brutal. And when you get there – the job has been over for centuries.